Sometimes time stands still. And I manage to stay still and be present with it. When this happens, I am both grateful and appreciative and my body and soul begin to slowly relax. It’s just so easy to get absorbed in the stress and the constant hurry. Some days I get caught up in the hectic lifestyle around me and gradually I think that I am supposed to run around in a hurry, doing everything quickly like everyone else around me. Strangely, it seems like there is an unspoken rule that I am somehow more important as long as I am “busy.”
Without fail, I internalize this idea which leaves me feeling stressed, unhappy, incapable and inefficient. This is not a healthy lifestyle for anyone. There is no eternal value in running around “being busy” and no one will thank me for “being busy” at the end of the day. But wait, I am a woman! Am I not supposed to be a supermom? Running around being busy while, raising my daughter, being a good wife, cleaning, doing laundry, shopping, keeping everything together and preferably working fulltime as well… Am I not supposed to do so effortlessly while looking pretty and always smile? The pressure on women, especially moms in general is enormous.
Is there even a solution to this worldwide epidemic? What can we do to move beyond these unspoken standards and this type of lifestyle? I don’t have a magic answer but I do know one way that works great for me. To go outside with my daughter. We often go to nearby parks. Sometimes during our walk, I realize that I am taking big steps as if I am late for an appointment. I have to consciously slow down, slow down my steps, my breath and even the way I talk and listen. To fully accept that right now with my daughter, I’m in no hurry anywhere. The only place I have to be is here with her.
She is still young enough to not have a concrete notion of time. She is still at the age where she stands out of time. At least for the moment. It’s one of my major responsibilities and privileges as a mother to allow her to be a child who can explore, experience, observe, learn and play outside of the scope of time.
My daughter shows me and reminds me of the importance to just be…
- be present
- be amazed
- nature’s wonder
- the beauty in everything
- each sound around us
Here the daughter studied pebbles in a drying puddle of water and saw something else in there, now I don’t remember what.
I have so much to learn from this. We think that as adults, it is our job is to teach our children. Yes, it’s my job to keep my daughter safe and sound. It is my responsibility as a mother to protect her and my privilege to love her unconditionally. But in turn, I have so much to learn from my daughter. As long as I can stay humble and teachable rather than thinking that I have nothing to learn from our children. It’s not just our children who need unstructured « play time ». We adults are in desperate need of unstructured and unhurried time. It is essential for our health, well-being and happiness. It is one of the most healing experiences out there and it doesn’t have to cost anything. This is how we can move past the stress, the negative feelings we carry and find more peace within ourselves that we can then transmit to our children, our family and to those around us. We are all worth more peace, more healing, more playtime and to stay more connected